so i was self-checking out at the grocery store and this comely stranger and I had been flirting a bit, and after they had finished checking out they went
" I DON’T HAVE FLOWERS TO GIVE YOU BUT I WISH I DID BUT HERE HAVE THIS."
AND THEY JUST GAVE ME A HEAD OF BROCCOLLI.
Guess who’s got a daaaaate
Everytime i see this i think this person looks so pretty and should be drawn in a disney style.
remember that once in the late 70’s a face character for pooh at disneyland was accused of hitting a child in the face on accident and so the dude came back to court after the recess in the pooh costume and answering the questions as pooh and fucking danced in the courtroom in order to prove that the arms were too high up to hit the kid and he was acquitted within 20 minutes
That’s some Phoenix Wright shit right there, I swear
I can’t believe this is what our president and vice president spend their time on. We’re in 15 trillion dollars of debt, and millions of people are homeless, and abortion is still legal, and instead of signing bills to fix these things our president is doing this. Well I’m glad you’re having fun, you fucking bitch. Fuck the United States. /rant
WAITNDO YOU THINK THISNIS A REAL THING????
THIS IS SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE OH MY GOD
THIS IS THE BEST POST EVER I’M CRYING
The difference between bisexuality and pansexuality: a powerpoint guide.
… but….why put the my little ponies in there…….
1. Because they match the color scheme of the pride flags
2. I like ponies.
3. It reenforces the light and cheerful tone of the overall powerpoint.
This is probably one of the best and least offensive/erasing guides out there and people are complaining about the ponies.
This is important
so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring
i was joking
oh dear god
HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE